DevOps Hamster Wheel™
Switched to Encore and you've now got too much time on your hands?
Keep moving, with zero risk of surprise cloud bills. (Because we all know idle hands risk starting "temporary" Kubernetes clusters for fun.)
DevOps Hamster Wheel™ is a full-size, human-grade activity wheel designed to safely simulate the kinetic chaos of managing infrastructure, without the consequences.
Features:
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Industrial-grade steel frame, rated for SRE-grade stress
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Built-in resistance dial calibrated to simulate CI/CD failures
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Slack-compatible motion tracker that sends “still investigating” updates as you run
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Optional: LED telemetry panel displaying fake CPU load, network flaps, and pod churn (+$1499)
Physical Specifications:
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Diameter: 2.4 meters (certified DevOps-safe spin radius)
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Material: Powder-coated steel + stress-tested PVC treads
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Weight: 126 lbs (shipped fully assembled in an impressively large crate)
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Power: Self-powered via existential dread (backup lithium battery available +$499)
Requirements:
- A large open space (10 ft x 10 ft)
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Strong opinions about load balancers
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A willingness to sweat instead of
kubectl
Out of Stock
Quality Guarantee & Returns
- Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
- Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.
